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House Party
House Party is a current FWOB series starring Dillon and Jacob. It started on January 3, 2018 making it the first series started on the channel in 2018. It is the 60th series on the channel overall. Don't read this. PLOT! Chapter I: FELLAS? Dillon and Jacob (fused together) attend a house party being thrown by some chick named Madison. The objective: have the sex with a girl. The first thing they do is compare their height with a Katherine and then they talk to Madison. Being as smooth as they are Jillob (The Dillon & Jacob fusion) open with the amazing line "I think I'd like to get to know you a little better." Madison thinks they're sweet, nice. Also note that they had never met Madison prior to the party, just goes to show how suave this FWOB duo truly is. After charming it up with Madison, Jillob moves over to find Stephanie who is dancing by the fire place. The game describes her as a spaz but also cute. They talk to her and the second she opens her mouth everyone could tell that Stephanie...was basic. Stephanie is says that she loves the song at which Jacob comments as being the famous track "Royalty Free Loop #4" They leave and Dillon proceeds to mock her. After passing by a battery powered microwave Jillob decides to chat it up with Katherine. Dillon tries to tell a story from college about how people who say "like" all the time are stupid however, he is interrupted by Jacob who notices that Katherine is on her phone. Jillob makes an attempt at charming her, this time things don't go as smoothly. They comment on how her glasses make her look smart. Katherine misinterprets this as them saying she'd be dumb without them. This immediately gets Jillob on Katherine's shit list, dang. Jillob tries to defuse the situation by asking Katherine if she wants a drink, wrong move bucko. She is able to see right through them and only gets angrier because of it. They are once again shot down. They talk to her more and she lectures them on how they're a typical man or whatever, she's real annoying. Dillon is confused why she is at the party and Jacob doesn't know what they did wrong. Jillob proceeds to ask her what she thinks of Stephanie causing Katherine to immediately be disgusted and saying "I can't fucking stand her. She's so fucking stupid" she then goes on to add that Stephanie is on par with Jillob and that they have a better chance with Stephanie than her, what a bitch. Jillob then says "Ouch. Right in the feels" This will not stop Jillob however because nothing can stop Jillob. They try again. Opening with some stupid college philosophy line. It works seeing as Katherine starts to show some interest in Jillob, probably cause he's deep. Dillon points out that she is most definitely a Reddit user. Jacob figures out that the way to Katherine's heart is by saying some, as he says "Real pretentious shit" Next the duo asks why she is on her phone. She tells them that she is waiting for her boyfriend and that he's a dick. This moves Jillob into acquaintance territory with Katherine. They say that her boyfriend isn't being cool or something. She thinks they're sweet. Jillob brags like a dumbass. Once again they ask Katherine if she wants a drink. In a shocking turn of events Katherine accepts Jillob's drink offer. Jillob does a wave dash. They go to the garage to get a drink from the beer pong game where they stumble upon Madison walking into the garage door like an idiot. They try to take a drink to Katherine but Madison slaps it out of their hand for some unknown reason. Oddly enough, this peaks the interest of our heroes as they proceed to make an inappropriate gesture to Madison before starting a conversation with her. They tell her that Stephanie wants to change the song. Madison reluctantly leaves to do that. They pick up another cup. They do some stuff that Dillon thinks will get that demonetized. They run into Patrick who is totally shcwasted. He asks them to get him some aspirin for his headache. Neither of them seem to care though as they probably can't have the sex with the fellas if you know what I mean. They fumble around at the drink table and even screw with the pizza before asking Katherine what she likes to drink. They ask Katherine what she likes to drink. She being the intellectual that she is, says that she won't have any of that beer and wine "crap" and would take a shot of rum instead. Dillon being fed up with her pretentious attitude suggest they pee in a cup and give it to her since she won't be able to tell the difference. Although it would be funny Jacob decides not to. They head upstairs to see if they can walk in on anyone performing the act of the sex. Jillob fools around upstairs hoping to find drugs but instead finds Rachael. They ask her what her sign is until they see the breasts of another female pass by. They drop Rachael in favor of Ashley, Madison's sister. Jillob calls her hot. She digs it (THE MAN IS BACK!) One thing weird about Ashley is that she seems to have the ability to talk through her back seeing as she does not face them when she speaks. They say some dumb line AND SHE DOES NOT LIKE IT. They ask her about the beef she has with her sister in which she replies with a drawn out speech about how Madison pranks her. She just goes on and on (Kind of like me!) They leave. As Jillob explores the upstairs some more they stumble upon Brittney who is watchin porn. Dillon points out that she has saggy breasts, that is not gentlemen speak. They do some wacky stuff with a pen. They talk to her and she complains about her problems. They do whatever is necessary to impress her being the Ladies men they are. Back in the kitchen Jillob fiddles around in the fridge in search of a drink for Katherine. They go back to the alcohol table where they get some alcohol. OH NO! Jillob is caught by Frank who says that they're dead, figuratively or literally depending on how you interpret it I guess. Frank has a mini stroke before getting up to brawl with Jillob. Jillob tries to caress Frank's gorgeous face to which he responds with a mean right hook to Jillob's temple. They die almost immediately causing a game over. Chapter II: Deja Vu Jillob is reborn like a phoenix, in other words Dillon & Jacob are given another shot. THIS TIME, they ask Madison where the bathroom is upon meeting her. She tells her she left her phone in it or something, so now it's up to Dillon & Jacob to find it. This act creates a separate timeline in the house party canon. They head upstairs to find the bathroom, instead they find some lame-o room that only has a rocking chair in it, how lame. But it's okay cause they find the bathroom. Inside the bathroom they fiddle around with the trashcan. The ruckus causes a concerned guest to ask Jillob "ARE YOU BEATING OFF IN THEIR" to which Jillob replies with a nervous "Yes." After having no luck in the bathroom they decide to search the bathroom in the master bedroom. The duo are able to find Madison's phone. Instead of returning the phone immediately like proper gentlemen they instead decide to converse with Brittney. They chat it up for like a second and leave. Jillob tries to leave the party but Madison locked everyone in the house, so yeah. They return give Madison her phone back and she claps like an idiot. They talk to Patrick and then quickly stop talking to him. They talk to Katherine. This time they use the pro strats they learned from their previous life to quickly find their way to Katherine's heart. NOW THEY'VE GOT TO GET HER SOME RUM (like last time) They go to the alcohol table. This time they try to cozy up to Frank to make sure he doesn't kill them again. Frank has an over-inflated sense of justice. Frank reminds Dillon of the Clue Brothers from South Park. Jillob being the smooth talker that he is, is able to get Frank to reveal his crush on Katherine. As they try to find another way to get some alcohol Frank starts to nut. Jillob asks Madison about Frank. She tells them that she doesn't even know who invited them and he's preventing the party from gettin' started if you know what I mean. They then inform Madison that Patrick is stuffing her stuff down his pants, it's unknown whether or not this is true. Madison gets mad and goes to teach Patrick a lesson. She confronts him in the kitchen and without any words being spoken Patrick exits out to the backyard. Jillob talks to Ashley. They get her to talk about her Madison problems again. They then talk to Stephanie when Dillon has an epiphany. What if they try and have the sex with every girl? Jacob seems to agree that this would be a good idea. Jillob accidentally angers Stephanie but quickly rebounds back to not having her mad. After talking some more they learn that Madison and Stephanie are very close friends or something. They leave. Jillob finds Rachael sitting in the backyard. They ask her how she knows Madison. She responds with some boring girl drama BUT THEN she starts to get suspicious of Jillob's relation to Madison. Luckily Jillob is able to quickly defuse the situation by using the ancient 4th wall break technique that only level 90 comedians can use. They ask Rachael for her number, she doesn't like that. Dillon says this is unrealistic and Jacob informs the "beta nerds" that confidence is sexy. Rachael complains about her problems, Frank stole her thermos or something. Dillon tells a story over her about how got a girl's number within 25 seconds of meeting and he ended up "fugging" her. As PewDiePie would say... Jillob confronts Frank about the thermos. Frank says that even if there's a 1% chance that someone has alcohol then he has to treat it as an absolute certainty. Jillob asks him if he can just check if there's alcohol in the thermos but Frank reveals that the stench of alcohol makes him sick. Jillob offers to test it but Frank refuses saying that they'll have to prove themselves to him before they can acquire his trust. Dillon tells the story about his first house party. Watch the episode if you wanna here it. Thinking about it now, why would you read this overly long and boring summary when you can watch the episode for yourself. It's just a thought. Jillob did some stuff but I don't think anyone was paying attention cause Dillon was telling an epic story. Jacob reveals that he once had a mirror above his bed. Trivia